


Hug me hyung

by Parksbabe



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Drama & Romance, Fluff, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements, Romance, Self-Harm, sekai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-22
Updated: 2019-11-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:00:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21524086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parksbabe/pseuds/Parksbabe
Summary: Oh Sehun is in a relationship with a bad guy and Jongin will do everything he can to save him.
Relationships: Kim Jongin | Kai/Oh Sehun, oh sehun/original male character
Comments: 3
Kudos: 45





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first ever try at a fanfic, be gentle with me. And English isn't my first language, so I apologise for any mistakes.  
> I would appreciate if you'd leave kudos and comment your opinion, but please don't be mean.  
> Crossposted under the username rose_exol on AFF 
> 
> Lets interact on twitter @Parksbabe 
> 
> Stay happy and healthy. <3 

Oh Sehun, a very handsome 21 year old man with beautiful pale skin and black hair hanging down in his stunning, but lifeless, dark brown eyes, sat alone on a bench in a park, completely lost in his own thoughts.  
It was a surprisingly warm day considering it was late October and Sehun was able to keep warm with just a long sleeved shirt and a jacket. He sat quietly and appeared to be staring out into nothing.  
Suddenlenly a voice broke through his foggy mind  
“...Hunnie.... Sehunnie!!!” he heard someone call.  
He blinked quickly twice and tried to snap out of his trancelike state only to look up into the warm and kind eyes of his best friend Kim Jongin. A frown slowly creeping in on Jongins lovely, slightly bronzed face and a pout was forming on those plump lips of his.  
“Ah. Hyung, whats up?” Sehun mumbled, looking away.  
Sehun called Jongin hyung, despite them being born in the same year, although Jongin was born in January and Sehun in April. They had been best friends since middle school, and Jongin had always been the one person Sehun could count on. But even Jongin didn't now everything. 

“Aish Sehun-ah. I’ve been calling out to you for the past five minutes. What’s wrong, did something happen?” he started to look worried.  
Sehun shook his head. He didn’t want Jongin to feel worried about him.  
“N-n-nothing is wrong hyung. Everything is fine. I.. I was just thinking over something.” he said, trying to sound as convincing as he could manage, although his voice stuttered slightly.  
Of course Jongin noticed the slight hesitation in his speak, having known eachother for years not much slipped past his attention when it came to Sehun, but he decided not to pursue the matter any further. At least for now. He didn't want to push Sehun, knowing how unstable the younger had become lately, and not wanting to risk him shutting him compelety out.  
He had a slight idea about what was wrong anyway, and he didn’t want that talk to happen in the park, surrounded by the public.  
He put a hand on Sehuns shoulder and squeezed it lightly. Sehun flinched a tiny bit, only enough for Jongin to just barely notice. He sighed: “If you say so Hunnie..”  
Sehun could hear he wasn't convinced one bit, but he was grateful that Jongin had decided to let it go. He really did not want to talk about it.

Sehun smiled at Jongin and looked down at his watch and felt his heart stop in his chest, 17.16! He had been out for nearly four hours!  
He had to get home now, before anything bad happened.  
His boyfriend Son Woojin had quite the temper and he would get very mad whenever he didn’t know where Sehun was.

“I have to go know hyung. It was nice seeing you!” he said as he got up and started running towards the exit of the park.  
“Take care!” Jongin sighed. Not sure if Sehun could even hear him anymore.

Sehun stood outside of the apartment door 20 minutes later, heart hammering in his chest and the familiar feeling of anxiety settled in his stomach.  
He took a deep shaky breath and opened the door.

“I’m home.” he called out.  
He took his shoes of and hung his jacket in the closet, walked into the living room and looked around to find Woojin staring at him with a scowl.  
“Where were you?” he said in a dangerously calm voice.  
“I-I was just out. I’m sorry Woojinssi. I just forgot the time again.” he said and bowed his head and hurried out to the kitchen to start on preparing their dinner. Anything to get away from the tense atmosphere that surrounded the living room and hoping that a homecooked meal would soothe Woojins temper.

Sehun had just started cutting the vegetables when he heard Woojin step into the kitchen.  
He grabbed Sehuns arm and pushed him up against the sink. “I thought I told you to tell me when you went out.” he said in a low voice.  
“I’m sorry!” Sehun said and tried to free himself from the grib, but Woojin was too strong. Not that Sehun was weak, but lately he had been finding it harder and harder to fight.  
“You’re hurting me.” he whined and felt the grip on his arm getting tighter. All most as if it was intended to leave a mark behind.  
“Just so you remember who you belong to.” Woojin growled, let go and walked out of the kitchen and left a shaking Sehun alone to finish preparing the rest of their dinner.

The silence in the room could cut.  
They had just finished eating the dinner Sehun had prepared, and Woojin went to the couch and turned on the TV to watch some baseball game.  
Sehun took out the dishes and started washing them.

His hands were shaking and he dropped a plate to the floor that broke into pieces.  
As he knelt down and started to pick up the shards, he heard footsteps approaching and a moment later, Woojin appeared in the doorframe.  
“What was that?” he asked looking down at Sehunw with cold gleam in his dark eyes.  
“I… My hand just slipped and I dropped the plate. I'll clean it up quickly, don't worry” Sehun mumbled but didn’t look up at the man that had moved to stand in front of him.  
Woojin bent down towards Sehun and grabbed his wrist and pulled him up.  
He looked at Woojin with big frightened eyes.  
“Didn’t I tell you to look at me when I speak to you? Show some respect!”  
A small feeling of defiance ran through Sehun and before he could think he mumbled: “You should show some respect too”, but instantly regretted it when he felt a hand hit the back of his head. His mind blacked out for a second and his head fell to his chest.  
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I’m sorry.” the fear was palpable in his voice. He could feel hot tears forming in the corner of his eyes, but he quickly willed them away. He wouldn’t give Woojin the pleasure of seeing him cry.  
After a scoff Woojin let go of his arm and mumbled “stupid whore” before he walked out.  
A second later Sehun heard the front door open and close.  
His legs gave out and he sank to the floor. He didn't know how he had gotten himself in this situation. Woojin hadn't been like this when they first started dating almost one and a half year ago. He had treated Sehun well, although a bit rough at times. After Sehun had moved into Woojins arpartment almost five months ago, things had started going downhill from there, and it seemed like it was only getting worse. Sehun didn't know what he had done to deserve such a harsh treatment from his lover.  
Thinking about it he felt tears now streaming down his face and that well known feeling of hopelessness and anxiety washed into his mind. He felt sick.  
As he felt his stomach curl up and threatened to turn inside out, he quickly got a hold of himself before disaster struck, and ran to the toilet. A second later his stomach emptied itself into the toilet bowl. After retching a few times he flushed and wiped at his mouth.  
He could feel his legs give in and he sank to the floor sobbing, clutching his knees to his chest while he rocked back and forth, trying to stop shaking, slowly humming an old lullaby his mother had used to sing for him when he was a little child. Back when everything had been okay, when he had been safe.

A while after he calmed down enough to get up he walked out to the kitchen and cleaned up the rest before he found his way into the bedroom.  
He laid down on the bed, not even bothering to remove his clothes as exhaustion seeped into his bones, and he soon drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

Sehun opened his eyes slowly when a loud sound went through the apartment, and looked at the clock. It was 02.40. Confused he looked around, searching for that which had woken him up. It was Woojin that had just come home. Reeking of alcohol.

He removed his clothes and laid down onto the bed, eyeing Sehuns still fully clothed figure lying on his stomach.  
“Yah! Why are you sleeping in your clothes?!” he slurred.  
Not even bothering to wait for an answer Woojin ripped Sehuns shirt off and pulled down his pants and underwear.  
He fisted a hand in Sehuns hair and pulled his head back toward himself, licking along Sehuns jaw and moved down further biting hard every now and then to leave marks on the perfect white skin of Sehuns neck and shoulder.  
Sehun closed his eyes to prevent himself from crying.  
He knew what he was doing. He was marking him, so he wouldn’t, couldn't, show himself to anyone else. Woojin knew Sehun was too ashamed of his body.  
He smirked when he saw Sehuns closed eyes and pained face.  
“Hey.” he said and grabbed Sehuns jaw between his fingers, twisting Sehuns head to the side.  
Sehun could feel something hard press against his butt and he winched, thinking of what was to come next.  
“Look at me” Woojin said with a dangerous lustful voice as he put his hands between Sehuns legs and spread them open, kneeling down between them, and without a warning pushed himself inside him, hard. Sehun flinched in pain as the strech burned and tore him from the inside.  
He looked at Woojin with empty eyes. He had learned by now not to feel anything when Woojin took advantage of him, as soon as Woojin had had his release, he would roll to the side and fall asleep, leaving Sehun a sobbing hurting mess alone in the dark. He was used to it, a small voice inside him yelled that he deserved better than that, but he quickly shut it out.

Woojin was all he had, Sehun wasn’t worth anything, nobody wanted him. So he just bit his lip hard to stop himself from making a sound as he cried himself to sleep.

Sehun woke up when his alarm rang at 08.00. Woojin had left early so he had the morning to himself. His body was sore after last night so he decided to take a warm shower to calm his body down.  
As he stood in the shower and let the water run down his body he thought about his meeting with Jongin yesterday. He was almost certain that Jongin knew that something was up, but Sehun couldn't tell him, couldn't risk Jongin doing something. He knew his best friends temper and he knew Jongin would almost definitely try to get Sehun away, even if it meant being face to face with a furious Woojin and Sehun didn't want Jongin to get hurt because of him.  
After getting out of the shower he dried himself up and put on a simple grey sweater and black jeans and headed to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee.  
It was thursday and Sehun didn't have any classes on thursdays, so he was supposed to go to the high school were he voluntered as a math tutor once a week.  
It turned out being a tough day for Sehun.  
Whenever he had a little time to himself he could feel his mind wander of and he would slip into the nothingness he was growing so accustomed to “feeling“.  
And honestly he was enjoying it. The feeling of not feeling. It was such a relief sometimes. However one of his seniors noticed it and pulled him aside “Yah, Oh Sehun. What is up with you? Are you sick?” Sehun shook his head “ No sunbae, I'm just tired.” he said and lowered his head. “I’m sorry. I will try harder.” the senior looked at him for a few minutes.  
“No. I think its good enough for today. You should go home and get some rest.”  
Sehuns heart started beating faster when he heard those words. Go home? This early.  
Woojin would be furious, probably thinking Sehun had done something to get himself kicked hom early. He felt instant fear. “No.. No please let me stay. I'm okay, I promise.” The other looked at him and contemplated it for a moment and then nodded. “Okay. But if I see you nodding off again, you will leave me with no choice but to throw your ass home.” he said and walked away.  
Sehun let out a breath he didn’t even knew he had been holding in and got back to work. Very careful not to let his mind wander again.  
When the time turned 16.00, most of the classes was over and most of the students in the study café had gone home as well. Sehun packed up his stuff and started heading home. He made a quick stop at the convinience store to pick up some things he needed for dinner. Careful not to take too long.  
When Sehun got home Woojin was nowhere to be found.  
Sehun felt his tense shoulders relax slightly. So far so good.  
He made himself a cup of tea and allowed himself to sit down on the couch and relax with a book he had been trying to finish for a while, but never really got around to doing.  
After a few pages he suddenly realised how exhausted he was, and leaned his head back a little and closed his eyes for a short while.  
He must’ve fallen asleep because when he opened his eyes Woojin stood in front of him and stared down with a cold look in his eyes. He grabbed Sehun buy the wrist and pulled him up, pushing him towards the kitchen. “I’m hungry.” was all he said.  
Sehun hurried to the kitchen and prepared the dinner.  
After they had eaten Woojin got up and walked towards him with slow steps.  
Sehun looked at him with a weary look in his eyes. Please don’t do anything that hurt’s he thought and it must have shown on his face because Woojin then let out a disgusted sound and walked away.  
Sehun knew he had angered him, and he would be paying for it later.  
He quickly cleaned the table and did the dishes. Afterwards he decided to take a hot shower to calm his mind.  
As he stood in the shower, he looked down on his naked body. He saw all the bruises and marks Woojin had left. He felt disgusted by what he saw. He didn't feel like it was even his body he looked at anymore. He hated himself. Resented himself. He wanted to escape all this. But he didn’t know how. He didn’t have anywhere to go. Only here. Woojin was the only one that would ever want him. Maybe he should just die?  
Sehun got scared of the bare thought of killing himself. He didn’t actually want to die. He just wanted to get away from all this pain that threatened to break him down any minute.  
He hit himself for entertaining the idea of suicide, even if only for a short second.  
What the bloody hell was wrong with him? He didn’t have the courage to do it. And….  
His mind wandered to his best friend. Jongin would surely be sad… wouldn't he? Or maybe he just saw Sehun as useless and worthless as he saw himself. He felt tears prickle behind his eyelids and held his arms around himself while he tried to steady his breathing again.  
It took 15 minutes for Sehun to calm down and wash his hair and body. The feeling of cleaning the day away and letting it wash down the drain was calming.  
He stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist and went to the sink to tone and moistourize his face.  
He looked at himself in the mirror and on a whim decided it was about time to trim his bangs, they were beginning to cover his eyes slightly.  
He found the scissors in the drawer and started measuring how much needed to be trimmed off and started slowly, carefully cutting it.  
When he felt confident about the result he but down the scissers but he accidentally cut himself in the finger.  
He looked down at the cut. It wasn’t deep or anything, but a little bit of blood came out. He stared at it, mesmerized, and soon he realised that the pain he felt in his finger, kind of replaced the pain he felt inside.  
But not for long. So he tried again, and cut a bit deeper this time. And felt the pain in his heart get a little lighter. He smiled a little but then regretted it. It was stupid, he knew he shouldn't do this. What was he thinking? Wasn’t it enough that Woojin hurt him? Did he have to hurt himself as well? He felt disgusted with himself again.  
But he still couldn’t forget the feeling.

A few days past. Woojin came home one day in an exceptionally foul mood, and of course he took it all out on Sehun who earned himself some bruises along his side and a few bent ribs. He considered going to the doctor to get it looked at, but he knew it would only bring about a lot of questions he wasn't ready to answer. So he lived through the pain, even though it was hard to breathe, it almost felt like he was going to pass out whenever he tried taking a deep breath.  
He felt like he couldn’t keep everything in anymore, he needed an outlet for all these feelings threatening to spill soon.  
He went to the bathroom, not knowing what to do, then he found the scissor and without thinking he cut three symmetrical lines on his wrist.  
A bittersweet relief washed over him as he slowly sank down, knees cracking as they came in contact with the grey tiles of the bathroom floor, blood dripping from the three red lines and landing in a small puddle by his side.  
He closed his eyes, and willed his thoughts to stop. To just enjoyed the pain in the wrist that took away everything else.  
Soon after the feeling vanished and he slowly realised what had happened. What have I done? He thought.  
His heart started beating faster and faster and his breath hitched in his throat. With dread settling in his abdomen, he thought of how to hide the scars. Woojin couldn’t notice them. Neither could Jongin.  
He wouldn’t allow it.  
This would be yet another secret he couldn’t share with the world.

He put on a long sweater that went down over his hands, and went out of the bathroom.  
“I’m going out for a walk.” he said. Woojin shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever” he said.  
After walking around for a bit, clearing his head, he decided to text Jongin. “Hyung~! Do you want to come out and walk with me for a bit?”.  
They decided to meet up at the park nearby in fifteen minutes.

As Jongin came walking down the street, and into the park he saw Sehun sitting, leaning against the wall and waited for him. He smiled and waved as he saw him.  
Jongin had liked Sehun for quite a while now. He wasn’t sure when these feelings had started. But one day he had realised that the feelings he had for the younger boy, ran deeper than just that of friendship.  
But he knew Sehun was with Woojin, so he'd never done anything about it. Even though he felt there was something wrong with Sehuns relationship with Woojin, he never talked about it with Sehun. Afraid it would upset him and make him angry with him and that he'd then refuse to see him again. He'd rather stay being his friend than not being in his life at all. He just hoped that Sehun would trust him enough to let him in one day so he could help him with whatever was going on before it was too late. Sehun had been getting worse lately, loosing weight and his eyes and skin looked more an more dull. Jongin didn't know what to do anymore. He really didn't want to push Sehun, but it was tearing at his heart to see the younger like this. 

He sat down beside Sehun and put his arm around his broad, but boney shoulders, pulling him into a small side hug.  
Sehun smiled at him, “Hey hyung.”  
He loved to see Sehun smile, wished he could make him smile everyday, but he didn’t fail to notice how the smiles never reached his eyes anymore.  
It made him feel a sting in his heart. Something was wrong. Something Sehun was not telling him. It pained him to see his best friend turn into a shadow of the happy and ever laughing boy he had used to be. But Jongin was still too afraid to ask.  
They sat for about half an hour, just talking about small nothingness’ that didn’t really mean anything. Just happy to be in each others company for a while. Until Sehun got up.  
“I have to leave now. Thank you for spending some time with me hyung~!” he said and turned around to leave. Jongin grabbed him and hugged him tight not willing to let go yet. “Sehunnie-ah. Remember, I’m always here for you okay? No matter what.”  
He knew he couldn’t get Sehun to tell him what was wrong, at least not yet, but he wanted to at least make sure he knew he would be there for him, if he ever decided to confide in him.  
Sehun looked at him surprised, but then smiled. “Thank you hyung. I’ll remember.” and turned around and walked away.

Almost two weeks passed before they saw each other again.  
Sehun had been in a fight with Woojin. Which had earned him a nasty blue and purple bruise on his forearm.  
Jongin noticed that every time he touched Sehuns arm, he would flinch away and a small yelp of pain would escape his lips. He grabbed Sehuns wrist and pulled up the sleave of his sweater and imidiately he noticed the big bruise on Sehuns arm.  
He felt anger and nausea mix in his stomach as he took in the sight of the mix of darkening colours on the pale skin.  
“What happened?” he asked, looking at him in disbelief.  
“… I. Uh. Nothing. I slipped on the stairs the other day” he said, avoiding Jongins gaze and trying to pull his arm back.  
Jongin took a deep breath and finally found the courage to voice the suspicion he had felt for quite some time now.  
“He hit you, didn’t he?”  
Sehun looked shocked. For a brief moment, he thought about revealing everything to Jongin. About the abuse, the violence, and the scars. But he decided it was for the best if no one knew. Not even his best friend.  
It was his burden to bear.  
“No, no. I really did slip hyung!” he tried his best to sound convinsing, but even he could hear how fake his voice sounded.  
Jongin hesitated for a moment before asking: “Why? Why do you put up with it? You deserve so much better Sehun-ah” he said.  
Sehun felt his eyes starting to tear up. No he didn’t. He didn’t deserve anything. He was worthless. He was broken. He was nothing.  
Sehun pushed Jongin away and ran as fast as he could. He could hear Jongin yelling after him but he ignored it. He couldn’t stop. He knew he had hurt Jongin by lying to him and pushing him away. But he had to push him away.  
He wasn’t Jongins problem or burden, and it would be best for Jongin if Sehun wasn’t a part of his life anymore, he only brought trouble with him.  
He started crying, not caring if anyone saw it.  
He hurried home, and out to the bathroom. Not noticing Woojin’s questions. He desperately searched for something sharp. He found a razor blade and pulled up his sleeve. He stared at his pale marred skin. There was a good amount of scars now.  
He started cutting a thin line, but it didn’t take away the pain. He cut deeper than before, the blood dripping down on the floor and mixed with his tears that ran as a constant stream down his face.  
Why didn’t it help? Why didn’t the pain in his heart disappear like it used to?  
He cut deeper again and again and again. He started feeling dizzy, and before he knew it he collapsed on the floor. Crying harder than he ever had before Sehun clutched his arm to his chest, holding on to himself like he was afraid that if he let go, he would whisk away into the nothingness. He felt so alone. So broken.


	2. 2

The next few weeks, things only seemed to get worse for Sehun.   
Woojin had eventually noticed the scars, even though he was trying so hard to hide them, but when you have a boyfriend who doesn't take no for an answer, it gets hard to hide anything for a long time.   
He started treating Sehun even worse than before. Sometimes even freezing him out, not talking or looking at him for days. Sehun was going out of his mind, he didn't know what to do anymore. He felt so lifeless everyday, and sometimes he could hardly find the will to get up in the morning. But he kept on going, because he had to. He wouldn't give up.   
He hadn't seen anything to Jongin either. Even though the older had texted and called several times. He just... couldn't face him. He couldn't let him get dragged into this as well.  
Every day he would get up, go to school, get home, prepare dinner, let Woojin abuse him over and over again until he was bored of him, and then he would cry himself to sleep.  
And the next day everything would repeat itself. It was like he lost the will to fight against it. Like he couldn't fight against it anymore. He was empty.  
Often he would think about Jongin, and he started missing him more and more until the pain was too much. Then he would find something sharp again and put it to his wrist, to get the feelings away. He couldn't face it. He wasn't strong enough.   
Every night he had nightmares.  
He stared down at his bare arms, with red open cuts all the way up to his elbows. Jongin was looking at him with disgust in his usually kind brown eyes, a snerr on his lips. "You're so disgusting Sehun. Why would I ever want anything to do with the likes of you? You don't deserve me. You don't deserve anything. You're a worthless, pathetic excuse for a human." He grabbed Sehuns shoulders, pushed him backwards until he reached Woojin who would wrap his arms hard around Sehuns shoulders so he could't run away. He would hold him tight, while Jongin would reach into his chest, rip out his heart and then Sehun would wake up, covered in sweat and heavily panting and crying. Woojin never noticed anything. Or maybe he did notice and he just didn't care. It didn't really matter anyway. 

One cold December night Sehun woke up panting after the same nightmare again. He looked around in the dark bedroom and discovered that Woojin wasn't home. He was probably out getting drunk again.  
After sitting with his arms around his knees, back against the headboard and staring into the wall opposite for what seemed like hours, Sehun slowly unfurled himself and got up.  
He walked to the closet mirror and stared at himself. He took in his appearence. Messy black hair, dull skin, lifeless eyes with dark circles under and pale cracked lips. He looked terrible. His once fitted pyjamashirt hung loose around his body, clear testament to the amount of weight he had lost. He no longer looked like the strong happy man he had used to be.   
He realised that he couldn't continue doing this anymore. He couldn't stay here with Woojin.  
He had to get away before he actually ended up killing himself, unintentionally or not.

He didn't know where to go, but he didn't particularly care at this moment. He just had to get as far away from here as possible, everything else he would figure out along the way.   
He pulled on a large sweater over his pyjamas, picked up his jacket and put on some warm boots and with heart in his throat and shaking legs, he opened the door and took the first step outside. 

He quickly began to freeze in the night cold so he started jogging down the street to try and get a little warmth into his body. It was snowing, and there where no people outside. He ran and ran, not noticing his surroundings until his lungs gave up and he couldn't run anymore. He doubbled over, put his hands on his knees and tried to calm his heavy breathing.  
Once he felt like he had himself a little bit more under control, he took a look around and slowly took in his surroundings, only to realise that he had ended up in the very place he had sworn not to go; Jongins apartment building.  
He started panicking. No, no, this isn't right! Why did I run here? He had promised himself to keep Jongin out of this mess. He had to at least do that for him.  
Sehun tried to move his legs, but he found himself unable to do so, knees buckling everytime he tried to take a step. He felt tears in the corners of his eyes. His body shook so heavily that he couldn't control it. He tried harder and harder to pull himself together before someone could notice him.  
Suddenly he heard a voice yell "Sehun-ah!".  
Two strong hands grabbed him around his waist and pulled him into a tight, desperate embrace. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was, Jongins warm spicy scent instantly filling his nostrils and calming his rappidly beating heart.   
"Sehun-ah, where have you been? I was so worried about you." Jongins voice wavered slightly and his arms around Sehun shook with the force he was holding onto him, like his life depended on it. Like he would never let him go again.   
Sehun silently turned around in the embrace and found himself staring into Jongin's worried gaze and forgot everything around him. He fixated on Jongin's eyes. His beautiful almond shaped eyes, slightly turned up at the corners. He saw a tear forming in the corner of his eye, and he lifted his hand to brush it away.  
But he didn't even have the strength to do so, hand falling down his side before he could do anything. He let out a frustrated whimper. "Hyung" he said with a hoarse voice full of emotion.  
And then his mind went blank.

When Sehun opened his eyes he was at an unfamiliar place.  
For a moment he panicked, but then he recognised Jongins figure sitting beside the bed. A very tired and painfull expression on his face. Sehun felt the panic return. Was Jongin hurt? "Hy-hyung" he said with as much strength as he could manage. But it only came out as a whisper through his dry and cracked lips. His throat felt like sandpaper. How long had he been out?   
"Oh. You're finally awake!" Jongin said, relief washing over his features. "Sehunnie, you really had me worried there!"  
Sehun smiled. It hurt in his chapped lips, but he couldn't help it. He just wanted to smile when he saw Jongins face.  
"Sehun-ah," Jongin sat up straight and took Sehuns hand, squeezing it to show him that he was there.   
"Please tell me what's going on now. I can see that something is wrong Sehun, you're not good at hiding things. I've been waiting patiently, giving you the time and space i thought you needed, but this is serious Sehun, I'm worried about you. I'm your best friend, you can trust me with whatever it is." he said while looking directly into Sehuns eyes.   
Sehun sighed heavily. He knew he couldn't run away from it this time.  
He took a deep breath and steadied himself. Brazing himself against the dread welling up inside with what he had to finally say out loud.   
Without looking at Jongin he told him about Woojin, about the violence, the marks, the abuse, the nightmares. Everything.   
Everything except for the scars.   
He saw Jongins eyes widening as he realised the extent of what Sehun had been through the last couple of months. It was much worse than he had first anticipated. He clenched his fists. He felt so sad, and so so angry seeing Sehun like this, hearing about all this.  
Letting go of Jongins hand Sehun unconsciously held his arms close to his body while speaking. Of course Jongin noticed this and he took his hand back, grabbing hold of his left arm, the one with the worst scars. Sehun whined and tried to yank it back. Jongin couldn't know about this. It would break him. So Sehun tried with all his might to hide his arm behind his back. Pleading Jongin with his eyes to let it go.  
But Jongin would have none of that.   
"Sehun-ah" Jongin said with a firm and hard voice. He usually never used this voice with Sehun and it made him hesitate long enough for Jongin to get a better grib on his arm, not letting Sehun pull back this time.   
He gently tugged up the edge of the sleeve, heart in his throat, and saw red marks that marred Sehuns wrist. Pulling the fabric further up revealed even more scars. Some old, some fresh.   
"Oh my god" he let out after staring at Sehuns arm for what seemed like an eternity. He grabbed Sehuns other arm and checked it as well, closing his eyes as he saw more red lines, not as many, but it was bad enough that they were even there. He looked at Sehun, hurt flashed in the youngers eyes along with a different emotion he couldn't quite distinguish, but it almost looked like self hatred. Jongin couldn't fathom why Sehun would feel this, to Jongin, Sehun was everything good about this world. He sat for a while, trying to gather his thoughts.  
A single tear fell from his eye and he got up and sat on the bed next to Sehun at put his arm gently around him, hugging Sehun tightly to his chest  
"Why didn't you tell me about this Sehun? You could have trusted me. I could've helped you." Jongin sounded so hurt.   
Upon hearing Jongins words Sehun burst into tears. He felt so bad for not telling Jongin, for making Jongin believe he didn't trust him. He'd wanted to tell his best friend, everyday, had yearned for his support, his hugs, through all of this, but he just couldn't. Sehun started crying uncontrollably and his whole body shook with all the fear, pain, regret and hurt he had felt for so long, finally letting these feelings out.  
Jongin just continued to hug him, rubbing soothing circles onto his back with his thumb until Sehun finally calmed down enough to speak and started explaining with a voice barely above a whisper.  
"I... I couldn't. I.. I couldn't drag you into all this too. I didn't want to become a burden to you. I was afraid I would lose you. That you would hate me."  
Jongin let go of him and looked into Sehuns swollen eyes. He gently brushed away the tears that kept falling down Sehuns cheeks.   
"Sehun-ah. I will never leave you. And I could never hate you. Okay?" he hugged him again, closer than before and whispered into his ear: "I'm always gonna be here for you Sehun, please don't bear all of this alone anymore.".  
And for the first time in a very very long time, Sehun felt like he could finally breathe again. Like maybe, just maybe, everything could be okay again.  
But fear soon took over again as he thought of Woojin. He won't let me go. He will never let me leave him Sehun thought.  
He started sobbing again, but Jongin just held him closer, until he drifted off to sleep again. Exhausted from all the crying.

When Sehun woke up again, he was still in Jongins arms.  
The other was snoring softly with his mouth slightly open.  
Sehun chuckled to himself. Jongin was really adorable when he slept.  
The sound woke up Jongin. "Sehunnie, how are you feeling?" he asked.  
He thought about it for a minute not really sure what to say. He still felt like he was about to crack from all the pain and hopelessness inside of him. But somehow being with Jongin helped to calm those feelings down a bit. "I'm better hyung." he said and tried to smile a bit. Jongin held him tighter.

"Sehun-ah" Jongin said after a while.  
Sehun looked curiously at him "What is it hyung?".  
Jongin took a decision, breathed in heavily, let go and said: "I love you, Sehunnie."


	3. 3

Sehun looked at him, eyes widened in surprise He was speechless. Jongin loved him? No that couldn't be. "You.. You d-do?" he said in disbelief. Could anyone really love him? He didn't think so. Someone as good as Jongin could never love someone as broken as he was. Jongin probably just pitied him. "Jongin.. It...it's not something you should say out of pity. It only makes it wor.." he didn't get to end the sentence before he felt soft lips on his. Gently but firmly shutting him up.   
First he was completely frozen. But then he noticed how gentle Jongin was, how much emotion he put into the kiss. Sehun could hardly believe it. Jongin was kissing him!   
He sat still for a moment, not knowing how to react, but as his heartbeat startet speeding up  
Sehun kissed back hesitantly. At the small press of Sehuns lips agains his, Jongin moved his hands to cup Sehuns face, stroking his cheek gently and deepening the kiss, just a little bit, still letting Sehun set the pace.   
Growing more warm and courageous, Sehun started kissing back just as intensely and wrapped his arms around Jongins neck to pull him in closer as Jongin switched to move his arms around his waist.   
After a few minutes they both pulled away for air. Sehun rested his forehead against Jongins and looked him in the eyes.   
"I love you too" he said and smiled. He was surprised to realise how true the words were. He meant it. He really did love Jongin. Why had it taken him so long to realise it?   
He needed time to mend his broken soul and find himself again, but he had a feeling that Jongin would gladly give him all the time in the world.   
"Stay with me" Jongin said and then he confirmed Sehuns thoughts "I don't expect anything, I just want to be there for you from now on, all that I can. I'll give you all the time you need, all the space you need." 

But now came the worst part.   
Sehun had to leave Woojin once and for all. He had to get his stuff and make it clear that they had no future together, that Sehun would not put up with his behavior anymore. But Woojin would never let him go without a fight.   
They thought for a while and then decided that the best course of action would be to just sneak in when Woojin was away at work and grab his things and just leave. It might be a bit cowardly and it deffinetly wasn't the way any of them would end any normal relationship. But this wasn't a normal relationship, it hadn't been for a long long while, and Sehun had to put himself and his safety first from now on and besides he thought, he didn't owe Woojin a damn thing.  
Afterwards he would stay with Jongin, like he had suggested, since his appartment was big enough for the both of them anyway, and Sehun liked being close to Jongin.   
Sehun was actually against the idea at first.   
He didn't want to trouble Jongin any further, but he insisted, saying he wanted Sehun close so he could protect him. 

Sehun had been staying at Jongins house for three days, and it had been the best days Sehun had had for a very long time. Since it was weekend, none of them had to go to school or work, so they just stayed on Jongins couch, binging series on netflix and ate ramyon and ice cream. Just what Sehun needed to gather the courage to face what was ahead. 

It was on the fourth day he decided that today was the day. As he was about to leave Jongin stopped him with a hand on his shoulder   
"Are you sure I shouldn't come help you?" Jongin asked. Sehun nodded. It was best if he didn't come with him, beside Jongin had to go to work. And if Woojin was home, it could quickly become a disaster if Jongin was there with him.   
"Hyung. We've talked about this! I can do it." he said and gave Jongin what he thought was a confident smile. Jongin wasn't sure, but he let Sehun do this, he knew the younger needed to finish this alone. "Be carefull Sehun-ah" he said, and cupped Sehuns cheek, leaning in for a quick peck on his lips-   
Sehun blushed a bit but hurried out the door before Jongin got the chance to see it.   
As he walked down the street he got more and more nervous, the feeling of fear was wrapped tightly around his stomach and threatened to stop all his movements. But he knew that he had to do this if he ever wanted to have a chance at a better life. And as quickly as possible before he lost all his courage.   
With a lump stuck in his throat and shaking limbs, he hurried back to what used to be his home. 

Sehun took a deep breath, put the key in the lock and opened the door as silently as possible. He prayed that Woojin wasn't home.   
He wasn't. Sehun sighed feeling relief wash over him.   
He hurried into the bedroom, grabbed all his clothes and the few precious belongings he owned and threw them haphazardly into a bag.   
He then found a piece of paper and wrote:   
"Goodbye Woojin. I'm leaving. And I wont come back. Don't try and find me, I'm done."   
He hoped that it would hurt him, just a little bit. But deep down he knew that it probably wouldn't.   
He hurried out the door and back to Jongin.   
Surprised and relieved that everything had gone so smoothly.

On a, so far, not very eventfull thursday, about two weeks later, Sehun was home alone in Jongins apartment, Jongin had to go to work for a few hours, and Sehun didn't have any classes this afternoon.   
As he was sitting at the couch and looking through an assignment he had to turn in monday, he heard a knock on the door.  
Sehun, who thought it was probably just Jongin who was returning home early and had just forgotten his key, ran to the door and opened it without much thought.   
But instead of Jongins warm smiling face, he found himself staring into the cold, expressionless face of Woojin.   
Sehun let out a shocked shriek and instantly backed away.  
Woojin smirked, apparently satisfied with Sehuns reaction.   
“So... This is where you've been hiding. I just came by to give you a farewell present for the fine letter you gave me”.   
He walked into the hall, grabbed Sehuns throat and smashed him against the wall right after punching him in the face. Sehun could feel the skin on his cheekbone tear and bleed.   
He was dizzy after the blow, and before he could pass out, he fell to his knees, shutting his eyes, not willing to let Woojin see him break.   
Woojin grabbed a fistfull of Sehuns hair and got down to whisper in his ear: “Remember how worthless you are Sehun. Nobody will ever want you, this guy only stays with you out of pity”. He laughed and let go of Sehuns hair, walking out and closing the door after him.   
Sehuns body went limp, feeling all strenght leave him.  
He felt the familiar bite of the anxiety and without thinking he went to the kitchen, found a knife, pulled up his sleeve and cut. Watching the blood well up his arm and feeling the sting of pain as his skin tore.   
Desperate for the relief. Anything but this horrible feeling that would eat him up inside and leave nothing but darkness and fear.   
He curled up into a ball on the floor, not caring if he got blood stains on his clothes.   
He didn’t know how long he laid like this, just crying silently, until he felt a pair of hands grip his shoulders.   
He immediately panicked, thinking Woojin had come back. He tried to push the hands away and started screaming “Leave me alone, leave me alone, leave me alone”.   
Loosing his breath and hyperventilating more and more with each word.   
“Shh! Sehun-ah! It’s me! Sehun. It's Jongin. What on earth happened?”   
Sehun realised that it wasn't Woojin that had come back, he threw himself into Jongins waiting arms and sobbed loudly “He.. He c-c-c-ame back. W-w-woojin.”   
Jongin cursed loudly, but held Sehun tightly, prioritizing Sehuns wellbeing before his own rage. He continued to whisper sweet nothings into his ear untill he calmed down. "I'm sorry Sehun, I'm so sorry. Shh don't cry, you're okay." 

A week had passed since Woojin had been there. Sehun slowly calmed down and came out of his shell after a few days rest. Jongin loved watching Sehun slowly returning to the happy self he had used to be. Although it would take time, Sehun was improving so well and becomming himself again. 

Now they were lying on the bed watching a movie,   
“Hyung~ I love you.” Sehun said and looked at Jongin with a loving smile.   
“I love you too sehun-ah. So much.” he stretched up to kiss him and he pulled him in to deepen it. They stayed like that for a while, just finding peace and happiness in the closeness of each other.   
Sehun had thought about taking it further, and he had mentioned it to Jongin.   
But the elder had looked at him seriously and told him not to rush it.   
He could feel that Sehun still needed time. He might have gotten comfortable with the cuddling and kissing, but Jongin wouldn't risk ruining all the progress Sehun had made.   
And it didn't matter to him. He would wait for Sehun to be ready. He wanted him to be comfortable and not afraid.   
He still woke up in the middle of the night to find Sehun crying from his nightmares, alone in acorner of the bed.   
Every time he would hug him and tell him that everything would be okay, and let him cry until he fell asleep, with Jongins arm securely wrapped around him.   
He knew it would take a long time for sehun to heal from all the things he had gone through. And he would make sure he got all the time he needed. He knew Sehun was strong enough to come back from this.   
He also knew Sehun was afraid to lose him if he didn’t do anything. He was so scared Jongin would grow tired of him eventually. But Jongin was absolutely sure that would never happen. He loved Sehun more than anything. Both on the good days, and especially on the bad days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It ended up being a lot more sappy than I had first intended. But who doesn't love a sappy love story once in a while? XD   
> I hope you liked it. Please leave comments and kudos. <3


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